Originally Posted by
mirrorball 
Yeah, I've come to the end of the road with cocaine.. I know that, and I'm going through a sort of grieving process/coming to terms with the fact that I can't make it work - which feels healthy, it feels like this is 'separating' me from my addiction which had me convinced for years that it wasn't that bad/I can handle it/I can just do a bit occasionally etc.
I think you’re beginning to tear away the veil hiding the moral failing that many people don’t like to see in their chemical dependency. I eventually came to believe the now dead drunken me had been a profound moral failing.
Originally Posted by mirrorball
Another consequence for me today - my bank account went into arrears last week and some debits went unpaid... I'm low on funds now and if I could take back all the money I'd spent on gear this year I'd have more than enough to clear my overdraft. I'm going to have a boring month now trying to save money and staying at home.... but good I can recognise these consequences as the cost of my addiction, and the benefit of giving up is that I won't have to suffer them anymore.
We use what’s going on in our lives to decide to make the Big Plan. But once made, the beauty of the Big Plan is its complete isolation from any association with other things going on in our lives.
For example your Addictive Voice is loving that you are associating good and bad things in your life to using/abstinence. I can imagine at least four very logical ways your AV can play your finances and the coming “boring month” to try and get you to feel antsy about your planned permanent abstinence.
All that is avoided by Recognizing the Addictive Voice in your thoughts and feelings. Why do you now not use any more? Solely because you made a Big Plan. You have check mated the Beast using its own ancient, persistent stubborness for survival, reviving that wrong deep pleasure.