Yeah, I've come to the end of the road with cocaine.. I know that, and I'm going through a sort of grieving process/coming to terms with the fact that I can't make it work - which feels healthy, it feels like this is 'separating' me from my addiction which had me convinced for years that it wasn't that bad/I can handle it/I can just do a bit occasionally etc.
Another consequence for me today - my bank account went into arrears last week and some debits went unpaid... I'm low on funds now and if I could take back all the money I'd spent on gear this year I'd have more than enough to clear my overdraft. I'm going to have a boring month now trying to save money and staying at home.... but good I can recognise these consequences as the cost of my addiction, and the benefit of giving up is that I won't have to suffer them anymore.