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Old 10-26-2005, 07:18 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
DespHouswife
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Chesterfiled, VA
Posts: 12
Thanks for the replies and welcomes so quickly The more I look and listen, the more I am learning. I have learned something important today: I am a codependant, big time. I just wasn't aware of it, but I think I'm beginning to understand now. I agree the Al-anon meetings would be very good for me and I intend on looking into it.

I believe the alcoholic in my life really does want to get help, but now I understand that I need help as well.

Part of the whole problem for me, is that my previous relationship (also with an addicted person) went on way too long- I endured a lot of manipulation and emotional and occasionally physical abuse, and finally got up the courage, after many years, to leave. After going through something like that, your psyche is, to say the least, a little battered and beaten down. That relationship left me emotionally and financially devastated, at age 38 with 2 young children to raise.

So when my current relationship started, and she treats me (when she is not drunk) like I am wonderful, helps with the kids, helps financially, it is REALLY hard to be critical. At first. It's like my tolerance for the alcoholic behavior got lower over time. Which is maybe why it has gotten so bad? I don't know- but I'm starting to understand that I can't control her behavior. As much as that kills me

I am going to really try hard to take things one day at a time.
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