I rarely, rarely "point things out that I have a problem with" unless it's a big, big, big deal.
married 23 years in Sept and I have a hard time sometimes with the things he does but I generally employ the "keeping my mouth shut" technique.
I had some bumps lately with wondering if I want to stay with him cause he drinks, I posted about it here.....but not a word to him. Things shifted and it was worked out.
Assumptions I make in marriage:
1. He's a fully grown adult making adult decisions. if they are different than my decisions it doesn't make them wrong, it just makes them different. Even if I hate it. It's not on him to change. Ever. It's on me to decide if I will deal with it.
2. We don't have to live in each other's back pocket. We don't have to do things together. He's a boy. He likes boy things. What, did I expect him to cry into his truffles and watch chick flicks? Lots of things we don't do together and neither of us cares, except for....
3. The bedroom. Fix what happens in the bedroom, and you've fixed the whole shebang. Shebang....ha, funnier than I thought. You know, attentiveness, timing, frequency, sort of nonverbally work all that out and fighting usually stops.
anyway that's my opinion. Interesting to type it out. Many won't agree I am sure but that's the thing about marriage too...what are your patterns? What works for you? What works for her? What makes it good and nice and relaxed for you guys and what doesnt?
glad things are better.
