(((MB))) thanks for posting with such openness and honesty.
I’ve struggled with depression of varying intensity for most of my adult life. I’m almost certain that for me, depression is tied up with drinking. I started drinking in my teens and depression started around the same time. I still have bouts of “falling into the black hole” as I call it. I’ve been on and off different meds over the years but they all cause me to be zombie-like, sluggish and sleepy. I’ve never told the doctors how much I was drinking either.... I’m off prescription meds and I’ve been on a natural same and multivit B supplement for about 2 years now which seems to help even things out a bit for me but I still struggle, some days more than others. Overthinking about it can be counterproductive. I have to move. Take action. Sometimes I’ve moved house, moved relationships, moved jobs etc and I get a temporary reprieve. But it always sneaks back. So that didn’t really work long term as I was just changing the setting for the depression and it was only held at bay by being busy changing my life situation. Plus I was always drinking. So I think as well as not drinking, I have to keep moving my body in regular physical activity rather than moving my life to somewhere /something else. I’ve gradually realised that for me, yoga is one of the things that helps me stay out of the black hole. It’s still there but I don’t seem to fall in it quite as often or as deeply. I’ve been doing yoga on and off for the last 20 years or so and I’ve started to notice a pattern. When I do it regularly over a period of time (weeks to months) the depression is less intense. When I stop, the depression slowly sneaks up on me until I find I’m back down in the black hole again and have to scrabble at the sides to climb back out. Since I stopped drinking I’ve been slowly getting back into doing some regular yoga, about 3 or 4 times a week and I’m feeling a bit better although my emotions are still a bit of a roller coaster. Probably a combination of not drinking and doing regular exercise are helping together to smooth things out. It’s not a complete fix-everything for me, but it does seem to help. I think it’s more than physical exercise, it’s kind of like I’m getting in touch with the source of my inner strength, higher power, the universe or perhaps God, I think it’s simply feeling connected. That I’m not alone in my struggle. Perhaps that’s all it is, the feeling that I’m not alone. I don’t always feel that way, and it’s usually when I feel alone that I fall in the hole. And then in the past I would drink more. Viscous cycle. I haven’t ever been to AA and I’m not overly religious, but I think the sense of connection they bring is really important for recovery. I really think feeling “not alone “ is important to us all, no matter what means or tools we use to find that connection. I think SR is great for a sense of connection. Knowing we’re not alone in our struggle ❤️
Thank you
