Originally Posted by
Newme2018 
Thank you for your encouraging words! When you say I created this..im not sure I understand. I thought alcoholism was not a choice.....I didn't wake up one day and say I want to be a drunk. Drinking however I know is which is my bad. Thing is....hubby and I drink together....its something we've always done for "fun"...till its not fun anymore. Even after knowing my problem...he would still drink with me....so it would just make things harder for me to not pick up again. But game is over now....and I DO take full responsibility. One of my fears has been that he will no longer find me fun and will find someone else. But at this point it doesn't matter....because he will for sure leave me if I keep going.
You didn’t choose to become an alcoholic. But you do choose to continue to drink. Being an alcoholic doesn’t mean that you can’t keep yourself from drinking; my interpretation is that being an alcoholic means that if you do drink, bad things happen. If you do drink, you have difficulty stopping at 1 or 2. Alcoholism describes the body’s reaction to alcohol, the craving. But you do still have a choice as to whether you actually pick up that first drink and start the cycle all over again. And you absolutely are responsible for any and everything that you do and say as a result of drinking.
That’s what I mean when I say that this is a problem that you created. The good news is that means that you can fix it. But you can’t keep waiting for someone else to stop you from taking that first drink, because only you have that power. And you can do it!!! I know you can.
Have faith, and keep posting here. A lot of us have been where you are. You’ve got this. Just take care of yourself and work your sobriety. And remember, you are the only one who can change what you are doing. We can encourage you, distract you, give you ideas, but at the end of the day, it comes down to what you want to do.
Sending good vibes.