Newme,
Words don’t matter anymore actions do. Keep drinking then all will be gone , then u could drink all you want. That won’t end well.
I be been there, went to Aa first for my wife and kids. After my third meeting realized I WAS an alcoholic and bought into the program.
Wife and kids did not trust me, they heard it before. Little by slowly things got better. It’s a a lot of work but it pays off.
I could live myself into better thinking but I can’t think myself into better living.