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Welcome aboard and congratulations on your decision!
Feel free to assume 100% confidence in your ability to remain abstinent, any doubt is by definition AV and entirely dismiss-able .
Intellectually, I’m pretty sure you understand that it is possible for you to live the rest of your life free from living by the dictates of indulging the Beast's desire for more coke, yeah? The time you spend existing here on earth between sessions is proof or your existence without it , yeah?
The AV shuts up , usually, around 8am feeling like crap , is kind of a hard case to make for party time. Not indulging the desire is almost easy in that instance , the illusion is that not indulging the desire is harder a week or so later around 9 pm.
The emotional security you can give yourself will come when you intellectually accept/understand/embrace the idea that you are never going to feel the 9:30 pm awesomeness again . Deciding to consciously commit, unconditionally to permanent abstinence will produce the emotional euphoria of knowing you will never again feel the 8am wired .
Knowing/accepting/wanting to never get high again, fully and purposefully foregoing the high and the deep pleasure it brings is how to quit. Trying to avoid the 8am wired , because it sucks, isn’t enough, lamenting the wasted time and money, damage to mind , body and soul isn’t really enough. Quitting in the face of negatives isn’t enough without attacking/acknowledging the positive, the deep pleasure of the high and the pull for more .
Identify, separate and dismiss the desire and trust your ability to succeed in dismissing the AV 100% of the time , you got this
Your decision was the corner , congratulations! 8am can be now, from this moment forward ‘just’ the start of every day and you have given yourself back the ability to make every one of them as fantastic as you can or want , congrats
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