so even "normies" have trouble with boundaries, huh? refreshing.
considering how NOT well the visit went and the fact he is already thinking of another visit, i think you're just gonna have to state your truth.
but let me ask you....let's say you didn't have a child. but everything else about the visit was the same.....the dinner demands then not eating, the drinking, the pill taking, etc. would you want her back to your home as a guest? would you want ANYONE who behaved like that back to your home. cuz that was disrespectful on HER part in just about every way possible, short of setting your dining room table on fire.
so is it truly that you don't want her around your child - which is completely understandable? OR that you just don't want HER around period if she's going to be a pill popping boozehound? you are entitled to feel how you feel - i'm not saying one is a "better" choice.
then i think you just gotta speak your piece. straight up, no skirting the issue. use "I" statements when possible....
When your mother was here in our home and inebriated/drugged up, I felt very disrespected and uncomfortable with her around our daughter, therefore i am asking that we have no further in-home visits for the next X amount of time.
or something like that.