Hi Jjb and a warm welcome to you! I’m a wife and a mother also, and a recovering alcoholic since January of this year. Your story isn’t the same as mine, but just as for all of us here, the parallels and similarities far outweigh the (superficial) differences. You sound exhausted and pretty beaten down, but you need to know this: sobriety is yours for the taking. You can absolutely stop drinking, just as so many have done before you; all you need to do day on day is decide not to drink and stay convicted in that decision. Read and post here frequently, check out a local AA meeting and listen to that voice inside you that’s telling you enough is enough, because it’s telling you the truth. Best to you!