I am also a mom of 3 small children and also on my day 2 after a few relapses. Your story sounds very similar to mine. I was only sober through all 3 pregnancies and breastfeeding. I’ve taken my toddler to the store to buy alcohol early in the morning as soon as I dropped my other 2 off at school. Today I’m home with the 3 kids because of summer break. They wanted to go get ice cream and I had to say no because I didn’t trust myself not to get beer. I’m hoping it will get easier. I need to do this for my health and my kids. My oldest is 7 and at the age where she noticed that I was drinking. The sad part that makes me feel terrible is she doesn’t even question it. She’s growing up thinking it’s normal to have a beer or mixed drink in the morning. It all has to stop, I have so much guilt that takes keeps me up every night... after the 3 hours of sleep I get from passing out drunk I wake up and think about what a terrible mother I am. I love my kids more than anything and want to live to see them grow up, that is what I’m thinking when I’m tempted. I’m so glad I opened this thread and saw other parents that are alcoholics like me.. I feel like the only one sometimes