Mera, you can come back from this. I know you can. Take it slow and be kind to yourself. Just do what you can do each day. Take care of your boys and take care of yourself. Stick to the basics. Stay sober, eat well and try to get some rest. You will be able to manage this. And, never think that your boys would be better off without you in their lives. Being a mother is the hardest job in the world, and your boys needs you and they need your love.