Hi Mera
I'm so sorry for the situation you find yourself in. And all because of a job. Ugh. a job. You'll find another one if you want one.
I think that it is human nature to suffer. Not sure why that is. Maybe because deep down we are all just scared little creatures. I don't know. But it seems if we aren't suffering at the hands of someone else, we are causing our own suffering, or making others suffer. Talk about a character defect of our entire race. Just is.
I have a list of offenses I have suffered and caused. And my addiction just loves that. It loves when I run through my list, the powerless, fearful creature that I am. Because when I feel the victim, I am more likely to drink. For sure. One thing that I have to remember is that suffering is the gift that keeps on giving. I have given this unlikely gift to my daughter through my drinking. I absolutely cannot do that anymore. I hope the dye isn't cast. I hope she doesn't become me. But all I can do is stay sober and try to do the right thing.
The car is a car. I'm glad you are all safe. I think in the US you would have gotten a reckless endangerment which could mean jail time. So it could be worse. You are ok and your boys are ok. A job is just a job and a car is just a car.
Consider getting off the suffering bus. I know if I don't drink I'm far less likely to suffer....and make others suffer.
You can do this!