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Old 06-24-2018, 08:11 AM
  # 82 (permalink)  
lessgravity
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
Feeling sorry for ourselves/self-pity is quite common for those who quit drinking at some point. And I think you hit the nail on the head that that's really what this thread is all about. We want to be "part of the fun" and we assume the we need to be drinking to have fun. It's utter BS though being fed to us by our addiction. There are entire societies and cultures, even here in the USA that thrive socially/economically in complete abstinence. And they don't do so because the are alcoholics - they do so because their religion or other societal values prohibit or strongly discourage the use of alcohol.

The solution of course is to do other things. While alcohol seems to be "everywhere", there are a myriad of things that you can do that don't have a focus on drinking. Sure if you want to hang out a bars or clubs that's not likely going to work well. But even at a social BBQ's or weddings or parties, there are plenty of people that aren't drinking.
This entirely misunderstands my recent post.

I'm not interested in having a theoretical discussion about societies or corners of our culture who abstain.

I wasn't even wistfully and foolishly missing being able to drink.

The party I missed out on was not my ex-drinking buddies or some wasted booze ridden event. It was a pretty great gathering of professionals where I would have had a really fun night. I was unable to hang out because although I was not tempted to drink, I was anxious and uncomfortable with the drinking. It's that simple. I missed out on a life event, a fun one because of my issues with alcohol.

Am I swimming in a sea of self pity? I don't think so. I went home, was sweet to my wife and kids, made dinner, watched some Netflix.

I'm strong and sure in my sobriety. But it does not benefit my sobriety to pretend there aren't real life sacrifices to my not drinking. I look forward to the place that Dee speaks about - being able to stay and enjoy an event like last night's. But I am not there yet. Admitting the reality of these things is not whining and I am never giving up my sobriety. But I'm bummed I missed out on meeting some new people and engaging in worthwhile conversations with close friends.

And yes Dee - a pound is a social greeting. Lol.
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