Stay sober at all cost each day and keep moving forwards however tiny the steps. Seek out new recovery tools/programs to strengthen your sobriety and aim to really work a program. Then if you do this and keep doing the right things every day living with humility, love, dignity, gratitude you’ll look back at this in years to come and be grateful for it as being what you needed. We always get what we need but not necessarily what we want in my experience. Stay strong.