I can’t stop thinking that I will never be able to achieve anything I find worth living for, and it would be just easier to give up and die.
could it be not necessarily that but maybe the achievements dont happen quick enough? instant gratification- wanting it and wanting it now?
because you are able to achieve anything you want to achieve. it just takes time for things to materialize. rome wasnt built in a day( i think it was 4 days.
).
I’m a hopeless perfectionist
oh yeah!
so, there i was doin wanescottin in my family room. i got buggered up becaus ea few of the joints were noticable. i was planning on tearing it all down and starting over when a friend stopped by. showed him what i wasnt happy with and my plan. he said,"if i was doing this wanescotting, how would you expect me to do it?"
"well, id expect you to do the best you could."
"what makes you think youre so much better than me that you have to have it perfect and i just do the best i could?"
HUH!
my house used to be spotless. everything had a place and everything was in its place. same friend stopped by( this is a friend i met after i got sober).
"dam,tom, youre house is clean. pretty spotless."
"thanks."
"its not lived in though."
"what?"
"its not lived in. too clean. too tidy. no signs of life."
HUH!