Old 06-21-2018, 06:56 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
tealily
Member
 
tealily's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
I wish I could give you an easy answer, Renvate. I think it's great that you posted here to ask, though. I think many of us can relate to the ups and downs you are feeling, the contradictions and tension. It's probably very common early on to feel that way, but maybe that doesn't help much to hear in the moment.. when the newness wears off. I just urge you to keep your eye on the long game.

You KNOW you don't want to go back to drinking at your computer and making that your life. Maybe it doesn't have to be socializing and being a big people person.. if you were an introvert, you can continue to be one, just throw yourself into healthier, more meaningful activity than just consuming alcohol. What were your old passions? Art, writing, photography, animals, activism? How about some new ones?

There was a time in my drinking days when I took stock and realized that if I were honest, my main hobby and interest and goal had become "wine". I even took it out to an extreme conclusion, and imagined an obituary, in which it said, "Tealily went on to become an avid wine buyer and drinker, spending all her free time waiting to drink and recovering from drinking or hiding empties. She had a promising career and artistic talents and previous wide-ranging interests and deep connections with her family, but ultimately poured herself into pouring alcohol down her throat at her computer or blindly watching TV drunk as her main occupation and hobby. This is how she will be remembered."

I chose to walk away from that. A little bit of discomfort and boredom on an occasional evening is way better than the empty, meaningless, dulled life I was living while actively drinking. You can get through this.

Drinking vs. real life

Hang in there!

Keep posting!
tealily is offline