Hi Steve,
My story:
I'm not alcoholic. I'm a family member who's in recovery from this family disease of alcoholism.
I've been to domestic abuse help centers for counseling. There's many kinds of abuse besides physical violence. They are every bit as damaging. Many abuse centers are able to help men as well as women. It's okay to reach out for help. It's not okay that your wife hit you.
I received no judgment, much support, insight and resources. Whether alcohol use is involved or not, emotional, verbal or physical abuse has resources for free recovery support. Abuse and alcohol use are two separate issues that can be intertwined.
One step at a time. One day at a time.
I've learned how to show up as a parent in new ways as I pray and reach out for support. Kudos to you for stepping up, reaching out for help here, staying connected to a good resource here and being open to finding more non-alcohol areas of support.