Anna- no, there has never been violence before from either of us and it is worrying what happened.
I am just sickened by it. I asked her if she wanted me to leave yesterday and she said no.
But I feel like I should take some time out anyway because I just feel so ashamed.
The problem is, we are so tied up with one another- raising child, finances, running a business etc. And I do really love her.
But I can't have her just turning up with beers and casually offering me one. I can be strong but when it is in front of me it is really hard to resist. I already explained to her many times that I can't drink, that my Dad was an alcoholic etc. When we first starting dating nine years ago neither of us were drinkers as we had both quit drinking. She knew the reasons why I gave it up.
We also met through our church at the time (which promotes not drinking) but we left our church a few years ago and then the drinking started again.