The violence is a big concern for me. Is physical abuse between you and your wife the norm? I truly hope not. And, I think you should contact the ex who you punched and apologize and find out if he plans to have you arrested. The incident could be life-changing, so talking to him could be helpful.
I am glad you are planning to stop drinking. You can talk to your dr about the medication and see what he thinks. I haven't used it, but it could be a tool to help with sobriety. Getting involved in a church could also be helpful. And, SR is always a good place to read and post.