I've survived through my first day after the relapse.
My biggest psychological issue is that I grew in poverty and when I was 12 years old I went almost a week without food.
And I have kind of emotional fixation - I don't tolerate being hungry, it make me panic.
And I feel like I have this "roving anxiety" if I don't stuff myself extra-full on a regular basis.
When I am at a grocery store I want everything.
Regular healthy meals help a lot with that because when blood sugar is stable and the brain is happy it's easier to apply logic.
But I still need to find the key to make my scared hungry inner child feel secure and happy.
And I am determined to do this.
Hunger is a humiliating experience. I have to leave it in the past and stop leaking into my present.
See you.