Hi laughingcrying, i'm sorry for the terrible place you are in right now. It is exhausting I'm sure.
I'm glad you posted! There is a lot of support and wisdom here. You might want to read some threads over in the Family and Friends forum as Optival mentioned and perhaps post there as well.
You will find many threads with stories that are similar to your own and lots of experience there.
Also you may want to read some of the stickies as well, this is a good place to start:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...c-reading.html (Classic Reading)
There is hope! You may feel very stuck right now but it doesn't have to be that way. Sounds like all your focus has been on your Husband and maybe it's time to start taking care of yourself and asking what you want for your life?
It's all very well to stand by someone but there is a saying that is mentioned a lot here "let go or be dragged".
Anyway, just wanted to welcome you and let you know about the F&F forum. Keep posting!