There was something of a transition period for me in early sobriety. It would be nice to think that the moment I stopped, a whole new world opened up and I never looked back. But that wasn't the case. My alcoholic life was the only life I knew. It took some time to dislodge my old ideas and replace them with something different.
So I was drawn to old behaviours, places, habits and beliefs. I broke all the rules about slippery places etc. I frequently went back to my old bar, just for a look. I had thought of it as the centre of the universe, where life happened. I didn't have any idea what real life was like, I had no experience of that, but I knew my familiar alcoholic world.
I think what kept me safe was the fact that I was working on change through working the 12 steps of AA. Although I thought it unlikey I would recover at all, I absolutely believed that a half hearted approach to AA would get me no where, so I was giving it every effort.
It paid off. The thing I had been working towards, a spiritual experience or complete change of personality actually kicked off one night in that bar. For the first time I saw the reality. It lost all its attraction and then... I never went back.