My AV is SCREAMING at me this morning...
... but I cannot, will not drink.
I’m having intense pain from endometriosos, did get a new presciption for painkillers a couple days ago but never got it filled... been close to tears the past few hours.... now it’s another 1 1/2 hours til the pharmacy opens (closest 24 hr pharmacy is over 1 hour drive... couldn’t make that when I’m in pain like this).
Hardly got any sleep so still laying in bed, king size bed yet my two dogs have to snuggle up right next to me or on top of me. My chi/dox pup has recently started to dig to get under the sheets then noses her way into my t-shirt, and likes to sleep stretched out right along my back, she’s soft and comforting and I feel bad when I have to get up to use the loo, she always looks so sad and confused when I wake her up and dump her out of my shirt, then she and my other pup if she’s awake, will follow me to the bathroom, they’re like my shadows and never want to be away from me.
They’re why I’m staying sober, I promised them I would. I didn’t want to resort to taking painkillers which is why I didn’t get my prescription filled yet... I never take them frequently enough to get addicted to them, but some days my endo pain is so unbearable I have to take something just so I can get sleep and make it through the day. My husband used to take care of the pups when I needed sleep but since he left I’m all they have so don’t want to be passed out for 12 hours, finally wake up and there’s a dozen dog toys surrounding me in bed, me feeling bad because I slept through a couple playtime sessions.
They have grooming appointments today but thinking I’m going to leave a message to reschedule hope they can fill my 2 spots with other clients. I felt so great physically just 8 or so hours ago but I can tell the next couple weeks are going to be bad.
But I refuse to start drinking again. Not just for myself but also for my precious furbabies.... who are now both awake ears twitching at the sound of birds outside. I’m not religious but I do believe they are angels sent from heaven to take care of me and keep me company and keep me sober when my marriage broke up... which I believe was inevitable. Life is so precious can’t believe how much I wasted drinking and not appreciating the happier things in life.
Wishing everyone a happy sober weekend and give your furbabies, and human babies too, extra hugs and kisses this weekend.