Originally Posted by honeypig

Good morning, all. I've gradually worked my way through this thread and I'd like to join your group as well, if I may. I've had issues w/food my entire life and have been up and down many times, ranging from being in good enough shape to qualify for and run the Boston Marathon to carrying over 170 lbs on a 5-foot 3-inch frame.

In the last 2 years or so, I've begun to feel a real sense of loathing about how I look. Shame has always been there, but this is a new thing. I'm also increasingly less able to pretend I don't know just how addictive my food behaviors are--once we learn to see, we really can't UN-see, right?

I had attended a handful of OA meetings a few years ago but didn't feel the same sense of belonging as I felt at Alanon. Maybe it was just those particular meetings and I should try again, not sure.

What I AM prepared to do, right now, this minute, is to read and post on this thread as well as commit to not compulsively overeating for the next 24 hours. I signed back up to an online food diary I'd used a number of years ago. I know there is controversy about whether or not to track, as for some people it makes things worse, but for me, it's helpful to have the facts, not just my best guess or my wishful thinking. Plus it doesn't just count calories but also fiber, nutrients, etc., so I can make sure I'm getting what my body needs. And I'm looking into the various sites, books and podcasts mentioned here by others.

I think this thread is really important, and I'm grateful to be here at SR and have access to all this ES&H.

Wishing you all (and me too!) strength and clarity.