clarity....well...it looks like you are "stuck" with him, for the moment...but, if things do go south...don't hesitate to call 911.
At this point...I think you have a right to ask for help from his parents.....after, all this does affect you and your son, very much! Don't expect him to step up to that plate....I don't think that will happen. You can't shield him from the natural consequences of his actions.
You have the right to take whatever actions that are in your and your son's best welfare. He won't/cant? take care of you right now.
The reality is...that you have to take care of yourself. And, you can't control him.
Everything that you say about him, just sounds, to me like the typical behavior of a practicing alcoholic. It is enough to wear you out and make you Krazy...lol.
In your case, with your mother/father's situation, and the boards, and all...I think you are suffering from an acute case of "caregiver" burnout.
Something has to give. You could become the one that is sick, next.
You need a break...and, you need more support...practically, and emotionally.
And, more social services support for your mother...
Keep posting...there is a way to get through this nightmare, in one piece....
*** Sorry about the counselor experience.......I am afraid, that sometimes, it seems like the loved ones get pushed aside.
Lol...as a PA..I used to treat very sick alcoholics...really sick ones. After I got them out of the woods...able to walk on their own...I would talk to the patient in my office, alone, then, talk to the wife/loved one, alone, in my office...then talk to both of them together. that way...I got to get the whole picture...and got the chance to get everyone on the same page...lol....