mamabear26

Hi everyone, I wanted to get some feedback and advice on how to speak to my kids 11 and 6 year on their father's continued alcohol abuse. We are currently divorcing and haven't lived together in almost 2 years. I never addressed his drinking with my kids until after he moved out. I was afraid I would say the wrong thing to them. I went to therapy right after we separated. My therapist suggested that I give an explanation on why we separated and to discuss what they have seen at home (their dad drinking daily, ignoring them and me, peeing in the house, stumbling and falling). She suggested that I address what they have seen so that they do not think that is normal behavior.

They now visit their dad at their grandma's house in which there are two alcoholics in the home (their dad and uncle). They describe seeing their uncle drink from early hours in the morning continuing throughout the day. Beers can everywhere in the house. I fear they again will think this is normal behavior. Before they go to visit I talk to them about safety: To make sure to buck up while in the car, if there is any drinking by their father please let me know, if there is any uncomfortable/dangerous situations please stay away from it and let me know, I do tell them also to have fun but be careful. Sometimes I feel super paranoid. I think to myself maybe I am too paranoid and need to relax but then I think considering the circumstances I am not. I want to do whats best for my kids. So by continuing to talk to them about their father's alcohol abuse I feel is the best way to hopefully deter them from participating in that type of habit when they get older. How do you talk to your kids about your ex/significant other's continued alcohol abuse? (Oh and STBAXH seems to think by me addressing his continued alcohol abuse with the kids I am "talking s**t about him *rolling eyes*)