Welcome to the posting side of SR, NewMe2018. Well done on 3 sober days.
Alcoholism is a terrible disease. I believe that there isn’t a human being alive that hasn’t done something that they deeply regret.
Sobriety and recovery provides a process for us to find a healthy place for those regrets - solidly in our past. Forgiving ourselves is part of that process.
I hope that the support, understanding and encouragement that you will find here helps you find sobriety, recovery and self-forgiveness.