Feel you. Such a silly reason to have a drink, yet I can picture myself giving in for something similar.
It's clear you did not want to do what you did, at least not your true self. Yet you did, and here you are.
The only way to get it right is to stop the flood, stop drinking and figure out what you're going to do today and going forward to prevent you from ending up this way again.
You can do it, I'm sure, but you need to own it.