I have come to realize that a part of me will always desire oblivion.
sounds like AV to me
I was utterly convinced that craving oblivion was a natural way for me to be given my life and history.
I realise now I'd given no decent amount of time to not craving oblivion.
I no longer crave oblivion.
I gave up drinking, faced my demons, and grew and changed as a result of that experience.
Noone should ever settle for craving oblivion IMO
D