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Old 06-11-2018, 09:30 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Katzen
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 96
Welcome to SR... everyone here is so wonderful and supportive.... and what I find most important most are non-judgemental, they, or I should say WE, know your struggle and know that doesn’t make you a bad person. But by quitting you can be a BETTER person, especially because you have a young son to care for.... I can’t imagine how I would have managed raising my kids if I drank in excess when they were young. But after they grew up and left the nest my drinking escalated, perhaps I was making up for lost time, I had my first child at 18 so as a college student I never drank or partied or had fun weekends like my friends without kids were having.

At least you recognize you have a problem and are looking for help... that’s probably the most important thing in quitting. By posting here, and reading others’ posts, can inspire you and give you confidence... YOU CAN QUIT!

You haven’t mentioned if you are actually physically addicted. I drank off and on for years but was able to go weeks without it... then found myself drinking at night every night... then eventually found myself having the shakes in the morning. A swig or two of vodka would make them go away, but I had such an exhausting time waiting to be sober enough to drive to the store to get more for my secret stash, having that soothing swig as soon as I came home from the store... hours later shaking again, needing alcohol... my “medicine”. Hiding how bad I was addicted from my husband, he was still able to have a drink or two a night and go weeks without.

I’ve been anemic all my life so often had blood work, it got very bad as I got older and was finally diagnosed with endometriosis. The last few years I’ve had numerous blood transfusions, courses of weekly iron infusions, and frequent blood tests done. And I can access my medical records online, along with graphs showing each test result over the years. Even to my doctor’s surprise when I finally confessed I used to drink a 750 ml of flavored vodka a day for several months at my very worst point, all tests that I had taken back then and since then showed liver functions were still always within normal range. Also had sonogram and CT scan on my liver/kidneys/gallbladder when I was mostly-sober for at least 6 months (minus a glass of wine or 2 on special occasions) but everything showed those were functioning fine.... yay I’ll celebrate by buying a bottle of vodka!

But of course every person is different, I was lucky I didn’t seem to do permanent damage from drinking and I think that justified my reasoning when I’d go on drinking binges for weeks when my endo pain got bad it was the only thing that helped me sleep, but fortunately I didn’t get physically addicted again and could once again easily go weeks without a drink.

Please do visit a doctor and have tests done, being aware of what’s going on with your body really helps ease anxiety, even if they find something wrong you then know what you’re dealing with. And if you aren’t yet physically addicted it will be so much easier to quit before that happens... if you are physically addicted I’ve read it’s dangerous to quit without medical supervision.

Be a good role model for your son, be the sober mommy he deserves, you’re still young and have so much life ahead of you... you don’t want to look back 20 years from now and realize you wasted your youth and your son’s youth, being drunk. Get better NOW before it gets worse... put aside the money you would normally spend on alcohol, wow it really adds up, then splurge on something special for you and your son.

YOU CAN DO IT!
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