Originally Posted by
Anna 
LG, there are many things I 'should have done' in my life, which I didn't do.
I imagine many of us here have not made the right decisions in some instances.
In my original post that started this thread I too admitted I am ashamed of ways I've acted in my life and decisions I've made. So we can agree here.
Originally Posted by
Anna will not use the word 'should' speaking about Anthony Bourdain, nor will I judge him. I believe, very deeply, that he felt his family/friends would be better off without him
But here we disagree. I believe, very deeply, that life was too painful for him and that killing himself would relieve the pain HE felt. He was not an adolescent without experience and intellect to think "the world is better off without me", and actually believe that. It doesn't take a person of his intellect, self-awareness or life experience to know better than that. As he had said before, he'd thought of suicide and that, in fact, it was his daughter that kept him from "offing" himself. So, of course, he knew, as any man of 61 would, objectively and subjectively, intellectually and spiritually, that no matter the personal pain he was suffering, there is simply NO WAY his daughter would be better off (again to say nothing of his friends and family) with him hanging himself. He chose to relieve the pain of his suffering over the certain probability of the unbelievable pain he would cause his daughter, for all of her life.
This choice is relevant to my understanding of the choices we make as addicts to quit or to keep going. Especially us addicts who are parents.