Originally Posted by
LifeRecovery 
Dear all-
Sunflowerlife what a wonderful idea for a thread and to get traffic about this topic as the Eating Disorder side of things tends to be on the slow side!
I have been working on food recovery for 18+ years. During the time of my own recovery work I met, loved and married a problem drinker and it is that relationship that got me to this site.
I have been thinking about this thread for some time and want to contribute my own ESH. For me compulsive eating (and all of the permutation and combinations of it which has been restricting to overeating) has been less about ONE particular food or a type of food and more about eating it because I am trying to numb out and not deal with my reality. My recovery really took off when I started to pay an appropriate amount of attention to food (for a long time it was the only thing I thought about....except exercise too), rather than following a strict or rigid eating plan.
I can binge on sweets but also can binge on traditional protein/fat foods. I can binge because I am H.A.L.T. I could binge because I was happy or sad. For me my eating disorder has been less about food and more about my discomfort of being in my own reality and about not using my voice.
As my recovery has progressed my actual binges might be less about a volume of food and more about feeling out of control.
I am not saying that talk of food is not important, I am saying that if I kept the focus ONLY on food it was not allowing me to truly dig into the reasons I was using food inappropriately. I also have found that if I am focusing on food, and someone else is following a different plan than I spend a lot of time comparing and contrasting and trying to make my "food" plan look like someone elses....when it falls short it is a trigger for me. If I am talking about how I feel around food and challenges around it it was less about a diet plan and more about the human condition.
As of today, I do not struggle with alcohol so this is not necessarily an appropriate piece for me to write but reading some of these posts has felt like when I read posts about people surprised that they can struggle with alcohol because they only drink beer. I can't imagine us having debates about what kind of alcohol is best when it comes to a problem drinker, but it can be easy to fall into this with food.
The most important part of healing for me has been about giving myself a break.....when I did that about food I actually found that it became easier for me to be with me....even if I made a poor choice. Beating up on myself kept me in shame, which in turn made me feel bad and would send me into a spiral in which I would engage with food.
Sharing my discomfort also helped. I have used counseling, 12 step programs, a dietitian, body work (massage), and other modalities to help my disordered patterns. Regardless for me reason for being in my recovery modality they seemed to help all of my "dis-ease."
So please don't take this post as a criticism....it is not. It is meant to ask though in addition to talking about food challenges to ask how you are feeling when you engaged with food? Do you have other stress going on? Are you trying to take on too much (many people are working on sobriety too)? What support do you have in place for your recovery(s)?
Some books that have helped me a lot in this healing:
Anita Johnson's Eating in the Light of the Moon
Anything written by Geneen Roth
Thanks again and as always please take what you like and leave the rest.
Hi LifeRecovery- I don't take anything you wrote as a criticism at all and truly value your experience and input.
I felt like this for years actually, that I was binging because of my emotional state and that the food itself wasn't the real issue. Then I heard a mind blowing podcast that changed my mind, a few weeks ago where the connection was made between brain chemistry, alcoholism , sugar and eating disorders. I feel like there are actually 2 schools of thought when it comes to binge eating: One says not to restrict any foods and that we are to learn how to eat anything in a health manner. That once we "fix" our emotional state around food, we will be able to eat all things in moderation.
The other school and the one that resonates with me and which I feel is true for
my body is the approach that my body cannot metabolize carbohydrates the way a "normal eater" can just like my body cannot handle the sugar in a glass of wine. This is why
for me abstinence from sugar and refined carbs is the only way to keep from binge eating (or binge less often). I have seen it over, and over again. It is the cycle I have been stuck in for years. Because I binged yesterday and there is still a lot of glucose in my system, it is much harder for me to eat normally today even though I'm having a great day emotionally.
Having said that I 100% agree that it's not just about the food. If it was, keto would have cured me. If it was just about the food I wouldn't be going to OA meetings. I totally believe this is physiological, spiritual and emotional problem and I am addressing all 3 aspects of it currently. I am in a spiritual development class and learned Reiki earlier this year. I see a therapist. And I go to OA. But I know in my heart of hearts that I will most likely never be able to sit down with a piece of cake and be satisfied after it just like I can't drink one glass of wine.
I don't binge on healthy foods. I have heard of people doing so but for me it's always been sugar and refined carbs. I remember my old therapists telling me one of her patients would binge on a bag of apples and I couldn't understand it to save my life. The point is that we are all different. While some of us will be able to eat sweets in moderation, for me it doesn't work. Even if I make a low carb dessert with sweeteners that technically do not affect my blood sugar, it can cause a reaction in me where I want to eat compulsively
(because of the chemical reactions taking place in my body.)
The addiction specialist I follow (who was on the podcast that blew my mind) is Bitten Jonsson. Here is the website that explains food addiction more if you are interested. Again, I am sure this does not apply to all people who have food issues. But for me I think it is hereditary as my mother also struggles when she eats sugar and flour (although she does not have a drinking problem.)
https://foodaddictioninstitute.org/w...ood-addiction/
From the website:
"Points to remember:\
Food addiction is a chronic disease characterized by a person’s seeking foods the individual is addicted to and for whom use of that food is compulsive, and difficult to control, despite harmful consequences.
Brain changes can occur over time with compulsive eating. This can challenge an addicted person’s self-control and interfere with one’s ability to resist intense urges to eat these foods (sometimes described as cravings.) This is why people who suffer with food addiction can often relapse, even after long periods of successful abstinence.
Relapse is the return to eating these foods after an attempt to stop. Relapse indicates the need for more or different treatment. It may also mean that another food is triggering the relapse.
Certain foods such as sugar can affect the brain's reward circuit by flooding it with the chemical messenger dopamine. This overstimulation of the reward circuit causes the intensely pleasurable "high" that leads people to consume a particular food or particular foods again and again.
Over time, the brain can adjust to excess dopamine, which reduces the high that the person feels compared to the high felt when first eating these foods—an effect known as “tolerance.” This often results in seeking to eat more of these foods, in an attempt to achieve the previous levels of satisfaction.
For a great many people, abstinence is the solution."
Again, thank you so much for your input- I truly value seeing all sides of this!