Lori,
I got sober through Alcoholics Anonymous. Before I started attending AA meetings, I did write down things I had done while drinking, shameful and embarrassing. When I got a sponsor in AA who could take me through the Big Book and the steps, she wouldn't let me take that step - which is called the 4th step in the program - until I was ready. I had to do the steps in order, steps 1, 2, 3, and then 4. To this day, I thank God I didn't have to look at all that stuff all at once. What I discovered was I wasn't a bad person, I was a sick person suffering from a disease called alcoholism, and that I could get well, I didn't have to drink over those secrets anymore, and if I didn't drink, I wouldn't be doing those things anymore. It's worked for me now for 20 years. And alcoholism does thrive in secrecy.