I'm here Suze- and I am just about in tears. I will post in the 24 hour thread about an experience I had that reaffirmed my connection the God- to Source, to The Divine. I compulsively ate 5 out of 7 days last week and my connection felt shattered. I prayed to the heavens this morning for help, for strength and for guidance and I received it in the most unusual way possible. All I know is that I AM LOVED, cared for and I am here to help others and to be the bright light that I am. I cannot do anything useful when I am using food to cope, to numb myself and to escape.
I have planned my meals for the day and even though I was told to try out 6 OA meetings before deciding if it's "for me" I know for a fact it is. I love the speaker meeting podcasts so much, I just listened to another one in the car this morning and I am ready to finally do the steps as well.
I have plenty to keep me busy this week so I don't binge- I will be painting and decorating the living room since both boys are in school this week (3 year old has "camp" from 9-2 all week.)
I am feeling hopeful that I can beat this thing.
On top of that my husband opened up to me this morning and apologized for "not getting it" all this time- for using my addiction against me (he would get very mad at me when I was in a bad mood from using) and for expecting so much from me (he got mad at me last night for not wanting to talk about the OA meeting with him.) He read up on food addiction last night, on his own accord, something I have been waiting for him to do for YEARS.
So I feel blessed that even though he will never truly "get it" he is showing a lot of compassion for the situation I am dealing with.
Love you all- let's make this a good day and I promise to check in here before I even thinking about using again.