Believe it or not people are trying to help.
I pushed them away too. I was very good at that.
For what it's worth I'm on meds too - there's probably very few of us older folk who aren't.
If you're adamant that there's no real recovery here, then there's not much I can say to change your mind DD - but you definitely remind me of old me - all the insouciance of a main whistling, throwing lit matches into in a gas filled room, just to see what might happen.
D