Hugs to you - this sounds like a nightmare. I wish healing and peace to you, your little ones and your addict as well.
Likewise, cheating was what hurt the most in case with XAH. In retrospect, I realize that cheating was the least of our issues and I am even grateful for its facilitating my hitting the rock bottom and getting away from the toxic environment.
It does sound scary not to have spousal support to raise children, but I realized I never really had it to begin with and was not going to deal with uncertainty of the future with mentally unreliable scary addict