Old 05-30-2018, 08:52 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
trailmix
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Join Date: Nov 2016
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Hi Atlantis,

I will paste my reply to your post in the other forum.

There are a lot of betrayals in your story, it's not surprising you are feeling resentful.

One part I don't understand is part of his "excuse". He decides to leave your home and finds a place with some AA members. He wasn't even "sober" at the time, he was abusing percocet, so why was he looking for sober roommates? If he was going to be sober he could do that in your home and not be scared of being sent to the psych ward/having the police called.

Also he is 40 years old, why did he feel the need to move in with someone who would kick him out if he did drugs? It's unclear from your post what program he is in, is he in AA?

Do you trust him? Would he have cheated if he wasn't at such a low point? Who knows. Fact is he did. If the right circumstances were to occur again, do you feel you could trust him now?

Of course the kids are happy that he is home, this should not affect your decisions at all. They are children, they don't know that Daddy brought a knife in to the room while Mom was sleeping. That is the stuff of nightmares. You are their protector, all they know is that home is back to "normal", please put that aside when making decisions. "Normal" to a child is not necessarily normal in any other circumstance.

He is a drug user (still smoking weed?). He lied to you over and over and over about his relationship with the other woman. It wasn't a one night stand, he lived with her, took money from her, they had a relationship.

The fact that he coldly walked out on her is significant. He did that. He was in a relationship with a woman and abandoned her. That seems familiar.

He states he has never cheated on a partner before and based on your experience with him you believe him. You also believed that he was just this woman's room-mate. Please don't think I am laying any blame on you, just saying that perhaps he is just a really good liar. He didn't "confess" until you found the information and he couldn't lie about it anymore.

You've been put through the wringer by this man and I think you already know the writing is on the wall.

Something doesn't add up here. More will be revealed. Please have a plan B ready. I hope you are still working and perhaps able to put some money aside for yourself.

I'm sorry for your situation, it truly is terrible.
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