Old 05-27-2018, 09:21 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Wholesome
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
I never hit any bottom and I was never told by anyone in my life that they thought I needed to quit drinking, I could have gone on for years slowly rotting myself from the inside out. I always knew I didn't drink right though and that the day would come when I would have to give it up. I had countless dry periods over the years, but I always ended up letting my AV talk me back into drinking again. It took a long time for me to finally have enough pain and misery from my drinking to be ready to make the commitment to give it up for good. I just got tired of waking up and feeling that deep self loathing and shame. Actually there was one person who told me he wanted me to quit, my teenage son. It was the resentment and pain in his eyes when he said it to me that finally broke through all my BS to motivate me into action. I realized I was doing to him exactly what my mother had done to me, and I couldn't let that stand. I had a moment of clarity.

Interesting how she talks about anxiety, that seems to be a common denominator with alkies. I was a very anxious shy child and I remember discovering alcohol as a teenager and right away loving it. It seemed like the answer to everything! I didn't make the connection back then, I didn't call what I was feeling anxiety, I just thought I was awkward and nervous. I still get very anxious today and can worry myself into a state, but I can recognize what's happening and talk myself down. I have tools like exercise, getting outside, coming here to SR to talk, deep breathing, taking time to be alone - just like what the speaker talks about. Drinking will never again be an option to deal with my uncomfortable feelings.

Good TedTalk! Thanks zero.
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