It took me 27 years to realize that just because I was born into a dysfunctional family with an alcholic mother that I don’t actually have to continue to let it affect my life. I’ve learned to accept the things I can’t change and to change the things I can. I can’t change that my mother is an alcholic, and no matter how hard I try to give her reasons to stop, that I can’t actually make her want to change. But I can change the way I react to it. My life is my life and not my mothers. I also have horrible memories and don’t remember any of the good ones. I can’t change the past, but I can live for me, and live in the present moment. I’ve distanced myself from my mother and family members who enable, and even though it was the hardest thing I had to do because I love my family very much, im now seeing it was the best thing I could have done. I feel free. I don’t need to try and please people anymore who aren’t good for me or my well being. I used to put so much time and energy into wanting things to be different for my family, but now, I have so much energy to use towards the good in my life. Ive cut out people who aren’t good for me, and Im learning to embrace the people that are good for me. While you can’t change your past, you can embrace the good things that have come from the bad if you can. It’s all about perspective. For instance, I know how NOT to raise my children and I will use my past as a guide of things that my child will NOT witness like I did. I am gentle, kind, and very patient and I believe I am all those things because my mother was never that way with me. Please seek help and know that you really can live a rich life for yourself when you learn to let go of the hurt and pain and begin to live for yourself. I use a meditation app called Calm and it has helped me so much to stay grounded when I have feelings of anxiety, guilt or anger. Meditation is wonderful for the soul.