Sorry for what brings you here, but so glad you found us.
No doubt this relationship has seemed like a shocker to you. Thankfully you didn't end up married or pregnant though, so you will be able to put this behind you. The friends and family area is full of folk who weren't so lucky and have had to get embroiled in legal battles to get away from their alcoholic partners. It's also great that his sister was frank about this - it seems many families prefer to stick their heads in the sand and blame their alcoholic family members partners for what s happening, despite evidence to the contrary.
I would urge you not to spend too much mental energy trying to make sense of what he did or said. You won't be able to find sense where there is none. Active alcoholics can be highly manipulative and sneaky, so don't kick yourself for falling for all that stuff.
If you feel like you need help to move on from this, and would like to feel more confident in making and sticking to safe and healthy boundaries then AlAnon might be worth a go. It doesn't matter that you're no longer with this man.
Hope you keep reading and posting.
BB