Hello everyone!
I really don't know where to begin with this post! So much negative stuff has happened in my life since this past Saturday I'm at a very low point. Not to the point of popping pills though!
I guess I'll start with my older sister's live-in BF. He's lived there for 12 years. I've read a ton of posts and articles about suicide, depression and addiction/alcoholism. Something NO ONE wants to deal with in their family! Sadly! He took his own life Saturday night!
He had been drinking from Friday to Saturday night. My sister came home Saturday around 6:00 pm. He was blitzed. She told him to go to bed. He went in his bedroom, peed on the carpet and fell down. Sunday, (Mother's Day), my sister tried to open his bedroom door and couldn't. She shoved the door as hard as she could until she could get an arm inside. He was laying against the door. He was ice cold to the touch. My sister called 911. When the Police arrived it was discovered he'd shot himself. He was 56 years old. Every ounce of blood in his body had drained out all around him.
Sunday, (Mother's Day), Jethro finally lost it! We got into a really bad argument. He was in my face yelling at me. I kept telling him to get out of my face. When he didn't? I bopped him in the lower part of his face with the TV remote control. He shoved me backwards with both hands using all his strength. I went down hard. I hit my head on the wooden stand holding my flat screen TV. He was holding me down continuing to yell at me. I was crying and screaming at him to let me up due to the pain I was in. He wouldn't! When he finally stood up. I slowly got up! I pointed at the door and told him to GET OUT! He got in my face again. I then told him if he didn't get out of my face? I was going to call the police. So what does he do? He says: "Here! Let me call them for you!" And did! I was hysterical! I kept saying: "You're going to get me arrested!" Within minutes there were 3 police cruisers with sirens blaring and lights flashing pulling into our driveway. I went in the house and changed my clothes, took my daily handful of pills and came back to the porch room. In my porch room stood a Police Officer asking me to tell him what happened. So I did. He asked me why he thought he did this? I said: "It's medication he takes! It makes him super angry!" He said: "Might be time to talk with his doctor?" I agreed! Thankfully I wasn't arrested. But he told me if they had to come back out? It would be a different story!
What little Jethro tried talking to me the rest of the day? I'd answer with: "You almost got me arrested!" Around 1:30 pm I got ready, picked my nephew up and we went to my Mom's house where everybody was gathering. By the time we got there I was covered in bruises. I told everyone what happened.
Monday was my older sister's BD!
Jethro went to my Mom's to work on her pump. He told her: "I didn't hit TOD! She fell!" Mom said: "I love you! But I'm always going to side with my daughter!" He dropped the subject! The following day I asked him: "Why did you lie to my Mom?" He said: "Well you did! I didn't lie! You know how you're always bumping into things and getting bruises from it. That's why you have those bruises!" OMG! I was livid! I said: "Get off this damned medication! It's making you squirrely!" He said: "Oh yes! Need we forget you're the medication expert?" I then said: "If I showed all these bruises to the police? They'd arrest your ass!" He said: "OH! You want to go there?" I said: "No! I want you OFF this medication!"
I was just waking up when he came into my bedroom at 5:00 pm Monday, holding Molly, saying she had just passed. Shock wouldn't let me register it. I told him to lay her down beside me. He did and walked out. I just laid there stroking her silkie soft feathers, talking to her. When I finally got up? I took her to Jethro. I walked in the kitchen in a daze, turned my coffee on to perking and went to get dressed.
When I came back to the kitchen I poured my cup of coffee and came to the porch room. I really couldn't focus on anything! Considering what I'd endured Sunday and now my Molly had passed too! My mind wasn't firing on all cylinders.
Later in the evening Jethro and myself got into another argument! I finally screamed: "Get off the F'ing pills that's making you crazy and angry all the time!" He grabbed the pill bottle and tossed it at me. Then he emptied his container for Monday's pills and slapped them on the table. Later when he went to go to bed he picked the pills up and threw them in the trash. So immature!
I asked him the next day if he'd talked with his doctor? He said: "No!" I told him I was going to talk to him. Well that pissed him off. So later in the afternoon I saw him logged into the VAH secure messaging. After he went to bed I checked to see if he'd sent a message. And he did. A simple statement of my meds need to be looked at according to my wife. HAH! He wasn't going to get by with that! I opened my secure page and started typing. I asked my doctor to send the message to his doctor.
Today was a much nicer day since he's not been taking the meds. It's a seizure med that was prescribed for his fibromyalgia! One of the side affects is it makes PPL hostile! Well he had that one down pat!
It was Sunday when I was shoved to the floor. It's early Saturday morning, six days later now. I'm still covered in bruises and so sore I can't hardly move. I highly suggest to anyone out there dealing with their significant other showing signs of aggression after starting a new medication? Talk to their doctor. It only gets worse!
Everyone have a clean day!
TOD