OP here. it's been about 3 1/4 yrs now. reading my post above it didn't quite capture the whole "falling out of love" w alcohol - it was really an extended process of liking it less and less punctuated by a Final bad event. I thank G-d quite often for the (figurative) bullets I've dodged.
I suppose the 'point' of my story is that you never know when it's all going to come together. I, honestly, did not think I would be able to quit until the moment I realized I had to - and that was it. So If you really want a substance out of your life - keep trying. There's no one correct way to do it (though there are incorrect ways to do it). If you are still in active addiction/abuse, try to believe that it is possible to live without the substance, even if you feel like don't know how.