Originally Posted by
madgirl 
Even the fact that you are coaching me on this, and that everyone here is telling me to call a DV center (!?) and that I can't see the full danger of this means I'm really not very smart - how can I not recognize it? How have I lived with this for so long? Am I an idiot?
Not smart? I've been thinking about this thread all day at work and am just getting caught up on it. You are very smart and brave. Your instincts brought you here for help, not once but twice. You also stopped drinking when you knew it was impacting your life.
I understand the verbal abuse thing and how it's easy to brush it aside because there are no bruises. Someone like your husband (and my dad) can seem like the greatest guy to the outside world. The thing is they treated everyone else better than their own families so they could get a pat on the back
Never sleep with someone if you don't want to. Why would you want to sleep with him?
I hope you are able to get some help. I do worry about your situation. Can you record your interactions without being caught? Does your son know? I wouldn't tell him I was going to alanon if I were you