madgirl......the alcoholism erodes the mind and the spirit, as it progresses...and it always progresses over time. The alcohol also changes the actual brain....it actually causes physical changes in the brain.....
I can give you the name of a book that explains this...but, right now, that won't change his behavior to you....Right now...your safety and mental health is the most important thing.
Trust me....if he wasn't complaining about the sex thing...it would always be something else....like--the Mother's Day dishes! or some other equally unfair thing. Alcoholics always seem to need someone or something else to blame...to keep the focus off of them.
Sex should be a natural expression of love...not a duty to be performed to please someone else. lol...I have been in the medical field for many years, and I have , yet, to see any man die from lack of sex....but, I have seen many of them die from alcohol....
I don't see him as someone who is about to stop. I do see it as getting worse, though.....
You deserve a better life.....