Originally Posted by
madgirl 
Even the fact that you are coaching me on this, and that everyone here is telling me to call a DV center (!?) and that I can't see the full danger of this means I'm really not very smart - how can I not recognize it? How have I lived with this for so long? Am I an idiot?
This is very real: these feelings flowing. I know them well.
It has
absolutely nothing to do with intelligence. It has everything to do with how the target of the abuse manages to survive. The way my brain protected me was to hide the severity of the abuse from me.
Once I started learning more about this, I felt as if I had betrayed myself. The further my healing progresses, I was able to make peace with this.