It can only get worse if you keep using. I never really have but alcohol is my poison. Doesn't even matter what it is. Addiction is addiction. Did not have blackouts until the last time, don't remember anything. A friend dropped me off at the jail to serve the last days for DUIs. Did the time and got out of "habeas" as I was late for jail. But I had medical documentation and had called the court and judges secretary and my lawyer. I agree that you might want to call your employer. I think you know what you need to do. Detox, and get rid of your dealer. Felony possession? That's six to nine months in the slammer where I live! If your dealer gets busted and is looking for 15 years prison time there is no knowing what she will say about you. I wish you the very best and hope to hear you be sober, happy with yourself and happy with your girlfriend!