Davey, if you keep saying what you're saying to yourself, nothing is going to change.
My family all abandoned me too (in my eyes, but I was depressed and I was drinking and I was difficult to be around, so maybe I caused it?) It's not like I was a ray of sunshine in their lives. In hindsight I know they had their own issues, mine were mine to solve.
At some point we all find ourselves in the Wilderness. Alone. Up against it. I got pretty sick of being miserable.
There is a way out - but YOU have to make it happen. Dwelling on what's wrong just makes things worse and you have to break that pattern. I started with counseling, the Bible, and self-help books.
Make a call today. Ask for help. There are many people out there who make it their life's work to help others. If your family and friends are not willing or able, there are people who are.
You are not alone in the world. Take a step toward the light.