Laurita, I'm so sorry for what you are going through.
Being the daughter of an alcoholic mother (as I am as well) is so difficult because we can't change them and we can't make them change themselves. I am all too familiar with the levels of denial, the defensiveness and the deflections in conversations.
Make sure you are taking care of yourself. Please don't let her take that from you.
Al anon meetings may help you to find others who are in a similar situation. I wish I could offer more advice.
sb