Thanks Alice, give it your best shot, you won't regret it.
Day 7 down.
This time last week i was head down on my desk surrounded by wine and beer bottles in the most miserable state I've ever been in. I was contemplating of driving down to get more alcohol, nothing scared me, i was ready to accept all consequences just for a drink. But common sense still prevailed and i went to bed.
Reading back my posts i can say that my mind has settled abit. My emotions have calmed down and my rational mind has set it. Iam moving on with my life with the ex thing. I have deleted all possibles means of contact and information from Her. for my own stability she does not exist.
now i don't pray, But Just before bed yesterday though i said a prayer for her to be happy. Who would of thought the power of a small first-time prayer would take so much tension out of my shoulders, and it gave me relief.
i am making quick progress attempts to socialize with people - nondrinking people. Iam forcing this and iam making it a habit to see what a new life can bring, Iam not a social person so this is a different step for me.
In saying that I am a bit embarrassed with all the stuff ive written, probably because its unusual for me to express this stuff, But i decided that it has to be written down to deload and to compare later down the track.
Today i went to a live music festival where i was surrounded by alcohol. I didn't get tempted because that was my old life. The life of bars music and attempted flirting and extreme public bing drinking. I was there to see who was in our meetup group. Unfortunately, our meeting group headed straight to the beer garden so i just said bye and left. I have nothing to do there nor did i want to make friends with them...
I was thirsty, and i found a juice bar. ordered some detox drink and drove home to get on my new mountain bike and ride to the gym - this isnt a forced change of life, i actually enjoy it and always wanted to do this, but alcohol has always stopped me.
in one week i have:
-moped around like a miserable mess making everyone angry at me.
-gone to AA, let a group know iam an alcoholic and i need help.
-Started exercising just to ease my head.
-Started to join social groups that DONT drink.
-Redirecting hope to a new life and better life choices
My old life is only right there next to me, i can transition any day, i am scared i might someday when the shock of the old life wears off. But ill tackle that when i get to it, atm iam busy building a new one.